“Are you sure it’s safe to go alone? I mean, isn’t it . . . dangerous?”

If I wore a little recorder around and captured every moment that I was asked that question . . .

It is generally assumed that:

• It is unsafe for women to travel alone in foreign countries.
• Especially young, idealistic, smart ones.
• You’re bound to get robbed/swindled/hit on.

Therefore, stay home. You should not travel alone.

To the contrary: traveling alone might just be the best gift you could ever give yourself!

I feel more terrified in New York City than I ever have in Central America or Europe and yet this question, and way of thinking, is consistently voiced by people I wouldn’t normally expect to hear it from.

So, for any of you who have doubts or fears about traveling solo, I give you my Top 10 reasons you (fellow wanderlust sister) should consider hitting the road (alone):

• You can do + see whatever the hell you want, whenever you want!
  When was the last time you let intuition and whimsy guide your adventures without having to check in with your travel companion to approve your sudden urge to take a detour? Faced with the opportunity to stay an extra day, stop where you want or turn left when you want, you’re thrown face-to-face with the truth of what you really desire. You’ll meet your own rhythm. Live at your own speed. Prioritize the things that are really, really important to you.For instance, I like kitschy roadside attractions and paths into the woods. A girlfriend of mine hit up lots of homemade ice cream stands on her cross-country bike tour. To each her own. Bottom line? You’ll get to know and finally make friends with your inner most desires.

• Whatever you don’t know, you’ll learn. Fast.
  There’s no better way to figure out how much Spanish you really know than to find yourself alone with a chatty taxi driver in Nicaragua for an hour. Or to figure out the local currency than to pay for your breakfast. It’s easy to rely on our travel companions for these things when we’re in a group. We can fall back on the excuse that ‘we don’t know‘. But solo, a gal finds out that really, she actually knows quite a lot. Or can figure it out surprisingly easily. And that . . . is empowerment to the max.

• You’ll meet people. Lots of them. Even if you’re shy.
  A solo traveler might as well be wearing a sign that says “Talk To Me. Especially if you’re elderly.” There’s this unspoken code of camaraderie between those of us who roam alone that lets us cut straight through the small talk and get real – and you’ll find that strangers are far more interesting and helpful than maybe you ever knew. They’ll split the fare for a 5am cab to the bus stop, point (or even accompany) you to the cities top secret spots, invite you home for a meal, or give you the smile you didn’t realize you needed. If you think you’re socially awkward, be prepared to get over that self-judgment and open up.

• You’ll see and appreciate the little things more than ever before.
  In the silence of alone at a sunset vista, there’s nobody to distract you. Sit and watch the birds if they’re singing along the river. Stack stones in a stream. Listen to a sidewalk serenade from a busking musician. Without the distraction of a companion, your attention is free to be taken wherever it is pulled and you have the bandwidth to allow it. Look. Listen. Smell. Taste. Touch. Feel. It’s all fair game.

• You’ll learn to tackle your fears.
  Once I walked across the city of Amsterdam alone at 2am because the streetcars had stopped running. To some, that would seem ridiculously terrifying. To me, since I was paying attention and staying alert, it felt fine. I learned that my comfort with risk was much higher than I ever thought before, and that has led me to explore with less fear and more curiosity. When you know how much risk you’re willing to accept, you know how to approach each adventure with confidence.

• That said: Shit will hit the fan. And you’ll be surprised at how well you handle it.
  You’ll screw up. Do stupid stuff. Get yourself into uncomfortable situations at a club in London (ahem). And on your own, you’ll figure out how to rectify the situation while calm and collected. Because there’s no other option. More than likely you’ll surprise yourself at how much grace you’ve really got when the time comes to take charge and take care of business.

• You’ll learn how to read people. Quickly.
  This is where the “isn’t it dangerous to travel solo?!” part comes in. Yes, there are magical vagabond souls out there, but there are also sketchy ones. Without the buffer of a companion, you’ll learn how to read the people you meet quickly to determine whether they’re someone you want to engage or someone best avoided. It’s tough to really explain this one, so you’ll just have to trust me (and your own gut).

• You’ll get real about your money.
  There’s no worse buzz kill than a travel companion who laments, “But that’s too expensive…”. Similarly, it’s stressful to travel with someone whose tastes are a bit beyond your budget. On road trips, I prefer to set myself up for car camping and spend my cash on National Park passes or a divine breakfast spread – that’s how I prefer to allocate my budget, and where I feel comfortable spending money. By paying attention to where it FEELS good to spend your money and where it doesn’t, you’ll get a clear picture of your relationship with the almighty dollar (or Euro, or Peso . . .).

• You’ll remember what it’s like to be taken by childlike awe.
  All a little girl knows is her own experience of the world. She isn’t concerned what others think when she exclaims, “woooooooooow“, and she definitely isn’t concerned if she’s wearing the same pants as yesterday. Add a bit of travel delirium to the equation, and you’ll be wide-eyed sitting next to a 7-year-old gazing in amazement at a passing pod of dolphins. It’s almost as if solo travel gives you a new pair of eyes, full of innocent wonder. Use them. Savor them.

• Confidence. Confidence. Confidence!
  Once you’ve navigated the rural dirt roads of northern Maine, cruised the 5am streets of Amsterdam on your bike, and waited in line for the bank to open in Costa Rica, taking on the everyday happenings of life suddenly seems much less daunting. You’ll know you don’t have to rely on anyone else to navigate your adventures for you, because you’re confident at the helm.

Yes. It can be dangerous to travel on your own. But it’s also dangerous to cross the street. And that hasn’t stopped you yet, right? 😉

Tell me in the comments below – what are the best things you’ve learned from solo travel? Do you have a dream place you’d love to visit, on your own? Maybe I’ll see you there . . .

xo,
Heather

Photo by Michael Hull