I’m in the middle of a big transition.

It’s not a a clearly-defined transition like moving into a new home or starting a new job. It’s murkier than that. It’s taking place slowly, and it’s equal parts exciting and uncomfortable.

I’m in between two career stages. I’m transitioning from initial success in my business—keeping busy and making a steady income—to a deeper, more satisfying level of creative success. But there’s a problem.

Insecurity and old habits are holding me back from firmly landing where I want to be.

On the surface, things are looking good. I’m getting more recognition for my work, and I’m taking on more interesting projects. But with this, comes greater responsibility and more stress, so the transition doesn’t always feel like a victory.

Have you ever identified which habits you need to change in order to unlock bigger opportunities, but you cling to them anyway because you associate them with your core values? That’s where I’m at.

To get to the next level, how do we know which aspects of ourselves to maintain, and which are holding us back?

For instance, I spend a lot of time reading and responding to emails. This compromises the amount of time I have each day for anything other than client work. I almost never make time to write, research, read, attend lectures, make self-generated work and all sorts of things that would push me out of workhorse mode and into the artist-with-a-strong-point-of-view life that I want.

The answer should be simple: cut back on email. Take more time to respond. Be firmer about when I check in and when I don’t. But how do I reconcile the fact that being communicative is one of the reasons why people like working with me?

We’re all afraid of letting people down, but our time is precious. I have to be stricter with my own time before I can truly progress.
Some people will be annoyed, but chances are, everyone will be just fine.

Another thing that holds me back is needing to have control over every detail. I will happily hire people who have completely different skill sets than me, but I have a hard time hiring people for things that I could just as easily do myself. This includes everything from cleaning my apartment to scheduling projects to resizing banner ads.

Again, this is confusing because my attention to detail is one of my strengths. It’s awkward to let go of something that I’ve built my business on. But taking a step back is important. It helps us see that our old ideas about success don’t necessarily apply to our future roles. I have to remember that it’s not my tendency to micromanage that people hire me for—it’s my unique point of view. That’s the aspect of my career I need to nurture most. The nitty gritty can and should be handled by someone else.

Finally, I’ll say it: I’m afraid of bigger success. That would mean having to live up to greater expectations. My failures would be more dramatic because there’d be more at stake.

But I’m excited by this possibility too. The thought of being stronger, more confident and handling more responsibility with grace—these are sides of myself I want to grow into. I know the potential is there, I just need to get out of my own way.

What’s holding you back from a transitioning into a bigger version of yourself?

xo
Rebecca

Photo by Lisa Wiseman