In this new weekly series, we’ll offer up a little wordly inspiration to kick-off your week.
Some simple wisdom, elegant and accessible. From one soul to another.
We hope it helps you ease into your morning.
xo

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The Invisible Ties That Bind

Where did this happen? I attended an amazing family constellation workshop hosted by gifted facilitator + healer Natalie Berthold. A bit of background: I worked with Natalie when I was in NYC  a year ago and had been waiting (semi-patiently) for her to make it to the West coast so I could participate in one of her group experiences.

If you’re not familiar, family constellation therapy is a form of healing that was designed by a missionary doing work in South Africa. He found that by looking at and setting up our family dynamics you begin to gain insight and unravel where there is disconnection or lack of completion in your family system, that is likely holding you back from living your life. It is a very hands-on, experiential approach (using group participants, dolls and other means to quite literally setup scenes of family dynamics) and I’m telling you, this stuff WORKS (this coming from someone who has tried just about everything)!

I’m one of those people that has always been drawn to any type of healing work. I don’t know why, I just know that its been of interest since I was about 10 years old. Over the years I’ve experimented with talk therapy, energy healing, Ayurveda, yoga, Chinese medicine, aromatherapy, sound therapy, crystals, meditation, silent retreats, experiential learning, coaching — and many more fun things. Though I have enjoyed all of them, I still felt that I was held back by something.

You know that feeling where you absolutely consciously understand that you want a thriving bank account / a healthy relationship / a career that fulfills you, etc. but you feel like you’re standing in your own way? Or that what you want is just out of arms reach? Yeah, that. I’ve felt like that for as long as I can remember. Even after years of “work,” I still felt like something was holding me back.

Fast forward to my experience at the group family constellation workshop a few weeks ago. I walked in the door having no clue why I had even signed up (hello, impulse purchase) or what I was there to focus on, but after a bit of prodding from Natalie, we quickly realized some very powerful family history and dynamics that would be worth looking at. When I tell you I was wide open and unattached to any outcome, I’m not overstating that. I really was totally open. I was ready to do this work and see what happened. And  in fact, I think that’s the best way to go into any work of this nature — open, no judgements, willing to explore, like it’s an experiment.

And so, we experimented. Me, my mom and my deceased grandmother and grandfather. I don’t want to get into the particulars of what happened there (it’s personal and some things need to be kept sacred). But what I will say is that I was being held back (literally) by invisible ties that I had absolutely no idea were there. I was being lured into the past, into a space that wasn’t mine and I was afraid to leave. After the work we did together in that room, I’m now much more alive, free and confident. There’s a powerful yet almost imperceptible shift that was made, by cutting those ties that had bound me to my ancestors for far too long (and without my knowledge).

So, how does this relate to you my sweet reader?

We are all bound. Whether by things we think we “should” do in our lives, cultural prescriptions, the societal status quo, our parents wishes, old formulas, old patterns — you name it. We are walking through life with invisible ties that hold us back from the life we dream of.

Think about it: if money or circumstance were of no concern, if you had nothing holding you back, what would you do with your life? Who would you spend your time with? Where would you go? How would you behave?

We are waiting around for that magical day when everything is perfect. When we have the job that pays us handsomely, the partner who loves us unconditionally, the family that loves spending time together, the kids, the dog, the white picket fence, the round-the-world planet ticket, the rockstar career. But those things are not going to be handed to us on a silver platter. We have to take ownership of our own lives and take those small daily steps to make our dreams happen.

We have to cut our ties to out-dated belief systems that are holding us back. We have to break bonds with ancestral patterns that continue to play out in our lives. We have to say NO to living in the land of confusion, scarcity and fear. And say YES to living with clarity, abundance and confidence.

We have to free ourselves. Nobody is going to do this for us. We alone hold the keys to the shackles that keep us from having what we truly desire.

Questions + thoughts to muse on this week:
What are the invisible (or not-so-invisible) ties holding you back? Where in your life are you feeling stagnate or stuck? What is one thing you could do TODAY, to help you loosen (or unlock) those shackles?
I challenge you to look into all the corners of your life and see where you might be feeling bound or unable to move forward. And consider doing some work (like family constellation therapy or energy healing) to assist you in freeing yourself.

To Freedom!
xo