In our weekly series, we offer a little inspiration to kick off your week.
Some simple wisdom, elegant and accessible. From one soul to another.
We hope it helps you ease into your Monday.
xo

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Healthy Perfection

“Perfect should never be a goal. Perfect just happens if you let it.”
~Wendy Wunder

I’ve spent most of my life feeling not good enough. I attribute this to a variety of factors, but a big one is the need for perfection. Everything from my just-so cuffed jeans to the expertly coiffed bangs to the impeccable cleanliness I craved at home — was an attempt to create a picture-perfect, magazine worthy life. Until I decided to stop.

A few years ago I finally decided, screw it! This insane desire for perfection is getting me nowhere, so I’m just going to chill out and let it be. What did I do? I stopped paying attention to clutter. I let clothes pile up on the dresser. I didn’t put away the stacks (and stacks) of books sitting next to the bed. I didn’t clear the table of dirty dishes before bed. In short, I let it go BIG TIME! And I was miserable and depressed.

That’s how I seem to work. At the extreme ends of life. I’m either a striving perfectionist or a total slacker. I’m working out hardcore every single day or I don’t move my body at all. I restrict sugar from my diet completely or I eat four cupcakes at a time (gross I know). I seem to exist in the black or the white — never in the grey.

And so I beat myself up. For years. Little negative criticisms (“why can’t you just be normal?”) and harsh critiques (“damn girl, you might want to get to the gym — you can’t even squeeze into those jeans anymore”). I internally berated myself for living at such polar opposite ends of the life spectrum — no matter which end I happened to be at, at the time.

It wasn’t until recently that I could articulate clearly for the first time, “this negative behaviour isn’t serving me”. And by negative behavior I don’t mean perfectionism. I mean the Mean Girl attitude.

Because I’ve come to see there’s nothing inherently wrong with perfectionism. Yes, lots of experts and gurus love to say that you need to kick perfectionism to the curb and “just launch your product/idea/new life”. And there might be some truth to that. But I for one, am not subscribing.

Perfectionism is why Tom Ford is Tom Ford.
Perfectionism is why Oprah is Oprah.
Perfectionism is why beautiful art exists.
Perfectionism is why buildings like Taipei 101 are standing.
Perfectionism is why we will find cures for diseases like cancer and Alzheimer’s.

Perfection isn’t the enemy.
Addiction to perfection is the enemy.

There’s profound beauty and ingenuity in aiming for excellence.
Sure it can very easily turn ugly. Just like a lot of things.
But it can also be magnificent and life-changing.

These days I’m going for what I like to call, Healthy Perfection. A commitment to beauty and excellence, but with the ease of kicking back in a lounge chair on a Sunday. I strive for a place that feels a tad more grey than I might be comfortable with while still making sure that whatever I do, I do my absolute best. And the rest? Well, it’s perfectly imperfect —just like life.

How does this look in my life? It means I won’t release janky looking websites, buy cheaply made clothes, collaborate with less than stellar people or create the same ‘ol e-course that everyone and their brother is creating. It means that I’m committed to finding that healthy version of perfection in everything I do. And so far, it’s working well for me.

I’m curious what you think. What is your opinion about perfection? Do you aim for a similar “healthy perfection” in your own life? Or are you comfortable elsewhere? Do you think it’s possible to aim for perfection and not succumb to the negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a note below.