A little over two weeks ago I had my official coming out party.

It wasn’t as grandiose as it sounds. There were no sparklers, no congratulatory champagne, rockstars, or A-list celebs. It wasn’t a scene and be seen kind of event.
No, this coming out party was small, intimate, unfolded over the course of a weekend and was filled with mostly strangers who are all about claiming their desires (over gourmet food + palo santo room spray). This was absolutely the perfect way to introduce The Girl Who Knows workshops to the world!

When I was approached by Team D (a.k.a. Danielle LaPorte’s super posse) to be one of the first to beta test her recently launched global licensing program for The Desire Map — I was an immediate yes. I’ve been a fan and reader of Danielle’s work for seven+ years. Her words have guided me through some of the darkest moments of my life, and some of the most joyful. I would have never guessed in a million years that when I cracked open Style Statement back in ’08 and turned to the back cover and thought “damn, that woman with the dreads . . . I don’t know what she’s got goin’ on but, I like it”, that a handful of years later, I would be collaborating with her to bring her words to life. To say that this is an honor. And one of the highlights of my life. Well, it wouldn’t be a lie.

I came on board and had roughly a month or so to put together the workshop from start to finish. This would be my first in-person offering after the re-launch of this site and so I wanted to make sure it was on-point and totally on brand. Think: amazing venue + sumptuous decor + delectable treats + aromatics + beauty everywhere. This required a lot of extra work, but in the end it turned out spectacularly!

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So, where did I begin? By summoning a tribe.

When you run an event of any kind, you never know who you’re going to attract. To be honest I’ve been to many a workshop or conference where it was a mixed bag (people excited to be there and others who for whatever reasons, were less than enthused).

Getting the right participants is essential. Especially when the event is intimate in nature, it becomes really important WHO fills the room. I had high hopes for the faces that would grace this party of mine and sure enough, I wasn’t disappointed. Whether they found me via Danielle, this site, or some other magical way, each and every person there was a tremendous asset and brought everything they had to the group. It was such a gift to work with such open-hearted, warm, loving, curious, seekers.

After loads of planning, it was party time. I arrived at our gorgeous Downtown Los Angeles venue, Communal LA, early in the morning. I was greeted by the lovely owner, Mariana (who is an absolute sweetheart) and along with the help of two beautiful helpers and my man, we unloaded a cargo van full of beautiful things into the venue. It was created to feel much like you were in my own living room. And this was intentional. When doing any kind of soul searching or deep, inner work, I think a comfortable, homey environment is key. Communal LA was the absolute PERFECT home for us.

Everyone arrived, got settled, snacked on healthy treats, tea and coffee from Intelligentsia (naturally). And then we got down to business.

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We spent two full days together talking desire.
We dined on gourmet eats from Urban Palate and Heirloom LA.
We created an altar. We burned sage. We talked crystals and magic.
We laughed. We cried. 

And we had the courage to ask ourselves the question, “How do I want to feel?”. Over and over again.

The group got real with themselves. They drilled down to the basics. They dreamed big, no boundaries. And then they narrowed it down to a handful of words that resonate with their soul. This, is Desire Mapping.

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The Desire Map is a game-changing book and now program, that asks you to re-prioritize goal-setting with your “core desired feelings” at the helm.

When you know how you want to feel, in all areas of your life (and typically you want to feel the same way in your career as you do in your relationships as you do with your health), you begin to make decisions that are in service of YOU.

You begin to look at goal-setting differently. It becomes less about the car, the house, the pair of shoes — and more about what will help you FEEL the way you want to feel. So it might be the car, the house, and those sexy pair of shoes, but it might not be. It might be driving your old Camry because that means you save on a $500 a month car payment and can spend that on a trip to Tuscany (which makes you feel FREE). It might mean selling your house and going on a round-the-world trip (because you want to feel EXPANSIVE). It might mean you forgo the sexy shoes in favor of the top of the line hiking boots because you really want to get into nature (because nature helps you feel CONNECTION).

You can’t do this process wrong. It’s highly individual and personal. It gets to the core of who you are and why you’re here in the world.
And trust, when you begin to desire map, your world will be rocked!

Our group of desirous trailblazers spent two full days immersed in this process, with me at the helm, guiding them through the process. Getting to witness the transformation that happened in our short time together was pretty miraculous. Some had huge a-ha moments. Others pivoted just a tad and got much clearer on their feelings. All of them left feeling connected to both themselves and to our group as a whole. It’s still amazing to me how by creating a sacred space, inviting in willing souls and doing this work together in a supportive community, how you are bonded so deeply in such a short period of time. To say that our tribe has mad love for one another is an understatement.

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It goes without saying that my coming out party was a raging success.

I stepped into my power as a leader, a facilitator of this work, a business owner, a woman. And damn it felt good! After the weekend was over, I sat in my car having a heart-to-heart with one of my best homegirls. Something that she said that night has stuck with me —  that, by watching someone step into their power, by witnessing someone else rise, we rise right along with them. I now realize that yes, even though it felt good and I had goosebumps the whole weekend, and my business is off to a smashing start, this isn’t entirely about me. By showing up with my gifts and talents, and doing my thing, I am giving permission and showing others what it looks like to rise.

That’s what my workshops are all about. That’s what The Girl Who Knows is all about. That’s what I am all about — sharing myself, sharing what I know and who I know with you, so that you too are inspired to stand up in your own life and rise.

If you’re struggling with stepping into your own power, moving your dream forward or just having clarity on who you are and what you do, trust me when I say, The Desire Map helped me get clear on all of those things (and so much more). I don’t credit it with changing my life or making the hard decisions for me — I’m clearly the one who took the steps, and I own it and am proud of it. But reading the book and going through the Desire Map process several times now, it has become the main tool that I use, to help me steer the ship that is my life.

I feel so incredibly grateful that I stumbled across Danielle’s work those many years ago and that my life has come full-circle and I am part of the team that is helping to bring The Desire Map Licensing program to life. If you want to learn more about The Desire Map, get your hands on a physical book, an ebook (or if you’re not a reader, you can listen to Danielle’s hypnotic voice read it to you — highly recommend). You can also find out more about Licensing here and stay in-the-know about my upcoming Desire Map workshops (and other fun events) by entering your information.

And if you’re going to be in NYC on December 7th, I’ll be hosting a 1-day Desire Map workshop in my favorite city in the world — I hope you’ll join me!

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To my new friends, the tribe who helped celebrate my coming out with me — thank you. Thank you for your love, your support and for daring to be your full selves. What a gift to the world you are. I adore each and every one of you!

To Danielle LaPorte — gratitude overflows from the bottomlessness of my heart. You have been a guide, a mentor from afar, a soul sister cut from similar cloth no doubt. And I have learned, grown and risen in part because of who you are and how you continually show up in the world. Thank you. Just thank you.

I’ll leave you with a little bit of inspiration:

MY CORE DESIRED FEELINGS are connection + wonder + love + ease + GOLDEN
How do YOU want to feel?

xo
Stephanie

Photos by Sylvia G Photography

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Conversation

  1. STEPH! I am so proud of you. And what Annika said?! THAT is exactly what you did for me. My dream feels real because of this weekend and watching, feeling what you did! YOU are such a badass! A GOLDEN BadAss!

    1. Thank you so much my sweet friend! Having you there meant the absolute world to me. You are a mama warrior goddess if there ever was one! Love that we’re on this journey and rising together. xoxo

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