The other day one of my favorite songs came on Spotify while I was driving.
Michael Jackson’s, Man in the Mirror.

I grew up loving this song.
It’s a total classic. A brilliant piece of artistry. A karaoke favorite.
It’s my anthem for ‘being the change you wish to see in the world‘.
As I sang along in the car at the top of my lungs (naturally), I got to thinking about change.

Belting out a song that is so inspiring and so motivating had me in tears. I felt like I could take on the world. That’s the power of song, isn’t it? Music just makes everything more visceral. It makes the intangible, tangible. And it makes you wanna bust a move if nothing else.

But what about when it comes time to make real change?
Whether it’s time to quit the day job you loathe, or break up with your partner, or move to a city where you don’t know a soul – real, life changes – what about then?

It’s not like we can have a band following us around all day playing motivational tunes (though you could carry a boom box with you everywhere you go, which I’ve seriously considered doing).

It’s not like we can just snap our fingers and feel confident and prosperous and all sparkly like. Nope.
I don’t know about you, but making real life changes never feels like that. It feels hard. Scary. Uncertain. Impossible.

And more often than not, fills us with self-doubt and judgement.
“What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do this?” “This shouldn’t be that hard. I just need to suck it up!” “God, I really don’t have any willpower. What the eff?!”

Change isn’t supposed to be easy.
In fact, when it comes to life, I think we should extricate the word ‘easy’ from our vocabulary.
It sets us up for nothing but pain.

Since we will likely have to make countless changes over the course of our lives, I think it’s important to have a few tools in our back pocket to use when ‘making that change’ feels like climbing the himalayan mountains.
10 Steps To Help You, Make That Change.*
*MJ approved
1. Love what is
If there’s one way to prevent a change from happening, it’s by not appreciating and having gratitude for where you are. I know this is a toughy, but if you want to invite bright, shiny, beautiful new beginnings and opportunities your way, being thankful for what you have is key. Having an attitude of gratitude allows more of that positive juju to flow back to you, thus creating fertile ground for the changes you’ve been dreaming about.

2. Stop griping and start giving
MJ was a pro at this. He put his money where his heart was. He didn’t sit around and complain about the state of things, he wrote songs, he gave back. If you want to make a change in your life the first step is to stop obsessing about it. Stop complaining about how hard it is or will be. And start giving back.
Whether you write a sweet love note to a friend, volunteer at a food bank, spend time tutoring kids or giving away your services for a day for free – there are literally hundreds of thousands of way you can give. Pick one. Or ten. Then DO it.

3. Be clear on what you REALLY want
It’s not enough to say, “I want to move. Universe, make it happen!” Vague requests and foggy ideas never come to fruition. Why? Because we’re not clear on what we truly want. If you want to move, don’t just pick a city. No, no. You’ve got to be even clearer than that. Pick a specific neighborhood, a street or even a particular house that you want to live in. Make it uber clear to everyone around you what you really want. The Universe, your family, your friends – they can’t help you, if they don’t know what you want. So spell it out. Be clear.

4. It’s just an experiment
Instead of thinking of this as some huge, mammoth, life-altering change, why not just look at it as an experiment? Is it possible to reframe the change you want to make as an experiment? There’s no winning, no losing, it’s just about trying something new and seeing what happens. Keep it light. Think of it like a chemistry experiment in high school (minus the explosive chemicals and funky goggles).

5. Start small (like, real small)
Take a look at what you want to change and break it up into teeny tiny, eensy weensy pieces. I’m talking, microscopic small. The smaller the better. If you want to start working out regularly, going gangbusters for a few weeks and then fizzling out isn’t going to help you in making that change a permanent part of your life. Instead, what super small step can you take, that will get you exercising? Maybe you set a goal of walking for 5 minutes every morning. Or even smaller than that, maybe you set the goal of just waking up 5 minutes earlier each week (to prepare you for getting your morning walk in).
It’s okay to start ridiculously small. Because the smaller the change, the more likely you are to stick with it over the long haul. Incremental steps baby, incremental steps.
And P.S. only make one small change at a time. Don’t try to change your diet, your exercise habits, your creative practices and your sex life all at once. It won’t work.

6. Make it a daily practice
Yearly goals, monthly goals and even weekly goals usually don’t work. Am I right? How many times have you set a lofty new years resolution only to stop doing it after 10 days. Even weekly goals can feel too big. As change expert, Leo Babauta says, “nothing will change unless you make a daily change.“ He’s so right about this. The reality is this: if you’re unwilling to make small, daily changes in your life, then you just don’t want the change that bad. Plain and simple. People who commit to a daily practice of change vs. yearly, monthly or weekly changes are more successful over the long haul. The question to ask yourself is, “what am I willing to commit to every single day?” Do that.

7. Find an anchor
Sure, you can be totally on board having a daily practice to change X, Y, or Z, but in order to be reminded of that daily practice you need an anchor. What do I mean by an anchor? Think of it like a trigger. A reminder that tells you, “Good morning sunshine! It’s time to put on your shoes and go for that walk.” or “Ding, Ding Ding! Ready for your 5 minute morning workout?“. This takes the guesswork out of you having to remember on your own. ‘Cause let’s be real, if it’s not right in front of you, you probably wont’ remember. I know I don’t! An anchor can be anything from an alarm on your phone, brushing your teeth in the morning, feeding your cats, etc. The anchor is there to help remind you to do your daily practice.

8. Get accountable yo
No man or woman is an island. And when it comes to making changes this is even more true. You need to be held accountable. Not because you’re weak and can’t do this on your own. No ma’am. Because we all need accountability. ALL of us. Find a workout buddy, a sibling you can text, your blog readers, a co-worker, whoever. And ask them if they can help you stay accountable for this particular change you want to make. Believe me, this might just make all the difference in the world.

9. Be inspired
Being inspired is like being high (but healthier). It literally changes the way your brain functions (for the better). While you’re making this small change in your life, it’s important to stay inspired. Be around people that motivate you. Read books that uplift you. Listen to cheesy motivational tapes if that works for you. Whatever lights you up and makes you feel alive? That’s your secret sauce. For me it’s listening to great music (anything by MJ, Gaga or the Glee cast – don’t judge). Also being in nature, being around beautiful things and reading inspiring stories fuel me. Find out what fuels you and bathe in it!

10. Celebrate yourself (no matter what)
There’s no win or lose here. Can we agree? This isn’t a race to the finish line. There is no finish line. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, remember? So no matter what, I want you to celebrate yourself. When you make it through your 1st day of your daily change practice – celebrate. When you finish Week 1 – celebrate. When you fall off the wagon in Week 2 and hop back on in Week 3 – celebrate. With cake. With a new book. With a massage. With a pat on the back. Whatever you do, celebrate yourself. Because win or lose, you’re a rockstar. Period. End of sentence.

So, what change(s) are you hoping to make in your life right now? Can you pick one and share with us? If you need accountability, that’s what I’m here for. Let’s do this!
I’d love to hear what you’re planning to change and any tips you have on making new habits stick. Leave a comment below!

Go, go, go! You can do it.
Make that change.
xo