What do you do when nobody around you seems to understand you anymore?
How do you cope when it feels like your life is stuck on repeat (like poor Bill Murray in Groundhog Day)?
These are all questions you’ve probably asked yourself. Maybe even recently.
I know I have. And on more than one occasion.
And the crazy thing is, after years of asking these questions, for a variety of different reasons, I still don’t feel like the answers come any faster. I’ve done tons of personal growth work, and made big strides in my life, but the answers come when the answers come.
In fact, when I’ve pushed harder, trying to effectively beat the answers out of myself, the more elusive they have become. Funny how that works.
Right now I’m struggling a lot more than usual. I’m coming off of being super sick for the last week, which left me stranded back at home, staying under my parents roof again (after being out of the house for almost twenty years). Let’s just say, it’s been “interesting”.
I’m also feeling uncertain about a lot of things. I feel like my life isn’t moving at the pace I’d like. And I’m trying my damnedest to maintain a positive outlook and not beg + plead for clarity and answers, when in reality, all I want to do is crawl in a hole somewhere and hibernate for the next year or so.
What’s a girl to do when life feels too overwhelming? When you’re not feeling supported or loved or cared for in the ways you need? I’ve got a few simple tricks up my sleeve that I want to share with you today. If you’re going through a similar kind of downswing right now (or ever in the future), I hope these tips come in handy.
1. Leave yourself reminder notes
Here’s the thing, the downswing doesn’t last forever. You know that. I know that. It’s a fact. It’s physics. It’s the Yin + Yang of life. The question isn’t IF the downswing will happen, it’s just a question of when. So I like to be prepared (once a Girl Scout, always a Girl Scout).
When I’m in one of my upswing moments, I write myself love notes. Long ones. Short ones. Even one-liners. I use the nice stationary. Cute envelopes. Glitter pens. Stickers. The works. I write little notes about how awesome I am. How I’m exactly where I need to be, right now. How what I’m doing in the world matters. I wax poetic until I’m fresh out of words. I seal the envelope and either mail it to myself. Or hide it somewhere in my house (the dresser drawer, desk drawer and kitchen cabinets are some favorite hiding spots). Inevitably, the downswing comes, I’m feeling like shit and I open up my dresser and see a pretty, sparkly note of love. It’s pretty much the most awesome thing on the planet. Try it!
2. Just stop.
I think the common saying goes something like, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going“. I’ve always hated that phrase. Because I don’t like to run when things get hard, but also because going, going, going isn’t the solution – in fact, it’s part of the problem.
When our lives are stuck on repeat, just S.T.O.P.
Put down your phone. Turn off your computer and the TV. Go sit outside and listen to the trees. Sit inside and listen to the silence. Lay down in bed with the comforter pulled up to your neck and rest. Sleep. Dream. It might take a few days of stopping for you to come out of the funk, but you will. And you’ll reemerge more light and focused and in better spirits. Sometimes NOT going, is how you actually get going again.
3. Ask for help.
There’s a simple truth that I learned the hard way (repeatedly). And that is, others can’t give you what they don’t know you want or need. If you want solitude and alone time, ask for it. If you need an ear to just listen (and not a mouth to offer advice), ask for it. The old adage here is true, you get what you ask for. So just ask.
4. Do something different.
It’s amazing how day in and day out our lives are filled to the brim with routine. We might cook the same food multiple nights a week for dinner, exercise at the same time each day or write our blog posts on the same day of the week. And all of this might seem like a great idea to enhance productivity. But damn, don’t you just wanna break with routine sometimes? Like blast show tunes and dance around the house? Or wear sparkly leggings to the grocery store, just ’cause? I know I do. I crave diversity and mixing things up. Whenever I do this, I not only inject a bit of fun and spontaneity into my life, but usually a hefty dose of creative inspiration and clarity too. It’s a win-win.
5. And when all else fails, I watch this video.
Why? Because it always lifts my spirits and reminds me that what I really care about is if “I do something that’s special” with my life. 
Do tell. What are your tips for when nothing seems to be working? I could really use some new ideas, so let ‘em flow in the comments below.
Love x love,
{ 0 comments… add one now }