In this monthly advice column (think ‘Dear Abby’ but modern and with tarot!), guest editor Natalie Vartanian answers YOUR questions. She tackles love + relationships, business + career, family + friends – you name it.

If you’d like to get some of Natalie’s on-point advice (and have your question featured here), email us!

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Dear Natalie,

How do you get clear? I hear/see this all the time, you need to “get clear”, once you “Get clear (insert positive outcome/result here). Can you give some suggestions for attaining said clarity?

Thanks!
Confused About Clarity

 

Dear Confused About Clarity,

This is a fabulous question. Especially since I say this literally ALL the time, to friends, to clients, to random strangers I meet out and about.

To me getting clear is about being super connected to what something (be it your goal, dream, vision, hopes, aspirations) looks and feels like for you.

Is something clear enough that when you image it you can almost see it, taste it, smell it, touch it, hear it and/or feel it?

Getting clear to me is no different than getting curious. You keep inquiring and asking yourself the questions and digging around until you get closer and closer to the root, to the thing that feels like there is no separation between you and it.

As for suggestions, here are a couple:

• Watch videos around the topic you want to get clear on so you can get visual ideas (and exercise your sense of sight)

• Close your eyes and meditate so that you can try to envision what you are working to get clarity on (tap into intuition and the feeling sense)

• Talk to friends and ask them to help you brainstorm because there are times when someone says something and it triggers ideas within you (use your sense of sound by listening)

For additional support, I pulled a Tarot Card for you: THE JUSTICE CARD

This is about us weighing all options until we have enough information about something that we can make a solid and sound decision.

What I interpret this to be is researching and again, getting curious so that you are asking pertinent questions and allowing what you receive to form and inform the clarity.

But what is important here is to stay open, stay impartial and be objective, as you do not know what things may end up looking like (or feeling like). The visions or clarity that comes may not be what you initially expected.

xo,
Natalie

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Dear Natalie,

How do you enjoy the process? I currently have to remind myself to be patient through transition and know everything comes in due time but as a super impatient person, I struggle to enjoy my journey, or just the process. Can you help?

Thanks,
Patience Isn’t My Virtue

 

Dear Patience Isn’t My Virtue,

My first question is “What’s the rush?” I ask this from a place of genuine curiosity.

Is there a part of you that feels what is happening right now is bad or wrong or not enough? What is it you think will happen when you get to that future point in time?

I wonder if that is why you struggle to just be here and enjoy the journey, because you would rather be THERE. It is not as much about enjoying the process as it is being okay with exactly where you are in any given moment and not judging that one place is better than the other.

Something Stephanie (founder of The Girl Who Knows) talks about when it comes to the senses is getting us to truly savor and enjoy every moment.

For instance, when you go for a walk you truly notice the trees and flowers and the sky. You let your sense of sight take in the wonder all around you.

Or when you are taking a shower, you truly pay attention to how it feels for the water to wash over your skin and allow the sense of touch to ground you and comfort you.

Because here’s the thing, whenever you get to that place you are oh-so impatient to get to, there will be something else that you feel is better, more important, cooler, etc. It is a never-ending cycle of feeling like the present moment isn’t good enough.

Doing a gratitude list also helps to bring you into this moment in time and realize all that you do have that is actually pretty amazing. Life really is just a collection of these present moments.

To help facilitate this question, I pulled a Tarot Card for you: THE SUN CARD.

 

This is so perfect because the Sun card represents feeling joy and happiness and warmth for simply being alive. The fact that the Sun rises every moment is a reason for celebration. Even when things are feeling crappy, they turn around, The Sun goes down, but it always rises again the next morning.

However, the Sun can’t be around ALL of the time. Our bodies would get burned or tired – we need a break. We need the dark for our bodies to know it is time to sleep.

So even a good thing when there is too much it would be ‘bad’.

Life is a cycle and anything can be a cause for joy and celebration if you are present to it. As you can see on the tarot card, there are sunflowers and the little child is ecstatic. Allow yourself to be like a little kid that is in awe of the tiniest details.

Get back to a place of wonder and play and bliss and every moment will be an opportunity for happiness.

xo,
Natalie