In this new weekly series, we’ll offer up a little wordly inspiration to kick-off your week.
Some simple wisdom, elegant and accessible. From one soul to another.
We hope it helps you ease into your Monday morning.
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When To Say Yes (and No)
I’ve always been a ‘Yes’ girl.
Can you pretty please help me figure out what to do with my life? Of course!
Do you mind throwing in some extra hours this week at the office? No problem.
Will you join me and help me create the business of my dreams? I’m totally in.
How about you come to my neck of the woods and let’s hang out? For sure!
Let’s join forces and take over the world together, you in? Umm, YES.
I’m all about the Yes’s.
I’m all about making other people happy.
I’m all about being easy-going, likeable and drama-free.
I’m all about being of service.
But a lot of times in life, saying yes, means saying no to something else.
‘Cause let’s be honest shall we? We can’t say yes to everything.
We’re not iRobots and its impossible to do it all.
As business maven Marie Forleo is fond of saying, “You can have it all, you just can’t do it all.”
When we say yes to family, friends, clients, customers, readers, acquaintences — we’re bound to be saying no to something else.
And sadly, that something else, is usually ourselves. Our own dreams. Our own bigger visions. Our deepest desires.
For a long time I didn’t realize there was a trade-off.
I went years (more like decades) saying yes to everyone else’s dreams and future plans.
I loved being of service to them and helping them birth their magic.
I was happy.
See, something inside me wasn’t entirely okay with it.
I couldn’t pin point exactly where my discontent lay hidden.
It felt like I was in search of the holy grail trying to figure out just why I wasn’t fulfilled.
If only I knew then, what I understand so well now.
Gotta love hindsight, right?
When you’re in alignment, when you’re doing work that not only feeds you but nourishes your soul — there isn’t a sense of something missing.
Sure you might not love the work you do everyday. You might have to burn the midnight oil (for many nights) or scrimp and save to make a dream happen.
But fundamentally, saying yes — it’s either a hell no or a hell yes (another Forleo-ism).
If helping a client to figure out her life purpose leaves you drained + annoyed — it’s not a hell yes.
If giving into overtime requests week after week leaves you angry + overworked — it’s not a hell yes.
If partnering with someone to create their dream business, makes you feel jealous + underwhelmed — it’s not a hell yes.
On the other hand . . .
If traveling 3 hours to visit a friend in need leaves you feeling connected + loving — it’s for sure a hell yes!
If stepping up to lead a workshop at the last minute is scary but fulfills your need for community + makes you buzz with excitement — it’s totally a hell yes!
If your decision to quit your job so you can pursue what’s next, even when you’re not sure what that is, makes you nervous on the surface, but deep down, you just know it’s gonna work out — that my friends, is a hell yes!
I realize this might feel like an oversimplification.
The decision of Yes vs. No — it’s not an “easy” one.
But life isn’t easy. It isn’t supposed to be easy.
A wise therapist once told me to remove the word Easy form my vocabulary.
How right he was!
Each time you’re forced to make a decision, big or small, it’s a chance for you to lean into your intuition — your innate ability to know with certainty whether something is right for you.
At the end of the day, you have all the answers to the questions you seek. Yes, ALL of them.
Your intuition is the gateway to those answers.
By cultivating the ability to listen and hear what your intuitive self is saying, the Yes’s (and the No’s), become a hell of a lot clearer and easier to hear.
Ultimately, whether you say Yes to a request or No, isn’t really of consequence.
What’s most important is that you choose opportunities that reaffirm your own sense of value and worth.
Choosing opportunities and people that uplift you and connect you to your own dreams and greater life purpose — THAT, is a hell yes!
Questions + thoughts to muse on this week:
So, how will you say YES to yourself today? Where in your life do you need to say NO? How strong is your intuitive voice?
Be conscious this week of listening to your inner voice that pops up when you have to make a decision. It can be any decision (what to have for lunch, which pair of shoes to buy, which photo to post on instagram, etc.). All decisions elicit your intuition — pay attention and see what yours has to say.