I have spent the past 15 years working with women in different ways and the one thing I can say for sure is this:
WOMEN ARE AMAZING.
Every woman I’ve met is uniquely wonderful, beautiful, intuitive, wise, and courageous.
But women have taken in so many disempowering and confusing messages about what it is to be a woman – ranging from worth, sexuality, power, lovability, success, appearance, etc. – that very few women I meet SEE just how wonderful they innately are.
This breaks my heart! Doesn’t it your’s?
When I see women twisted up in insecurity, giving them-selves away, putting themselves down, criticizing their appearance, holding themselves back with self-judgment, and not speaking up for themselves — I want to give them a big hug. And for a moment, somehow, magically, let them see themselves as I see them so they can let go of the false beliefs and internalized judgments that hang them up and instead feel free to open, shine, and see who they truly are.
But no matter how much we want this for others, it’s not a gift we can actually give. Nobody – not a partner, a best friend, the achievement of a goal, or anything else – can make us feel free from self judgment. Unfortunately, or wonderfully, depending on how you look at it, it’s a gift only we can give to ourselves.
SELF-LOVE RITE OF PASSAGE
There comes a time in every woman’s life when you decide that you want to feel good about yourself, love your body, enjoy your sexuality, and celebrate your life so much that you’re willing to do just about anything to make this happen.
When this day comes you’re ushering in a new chapter in your life by changing the path you’re walking down and forging a new one based on loving yourself.
Owning yourself in this deep way is unquestionably a life long process. It’s vulnerable, mysterious, and profoundly empowering. It will touch into and change every part of you and your life… but so much for the better!
Like every journey, it has different phases. One of the first is to lighten your load by releasing what’s weighing you down.
This looks like making it a practice to examine the beliefs, stories, rules, and roles you’ve taken in from your family, friends, and culture and, one by one, DECIDING if they’re for you in terms of lifting you up, making you feel empowered, supported, safe, and open. If so, keep them. If not – if you find they limit you and keep you hooked into self judgment, insecurity, and shame – let them go.
As you release what no longer serves, simultaneously fill yourself with what raises you up.
This looks like replacing old beliefs and stories with new ones that really work for you. It also looks like cultivating your relationship with self-love. And this, more than just about anything, will shift your energy into the realm of acceptance, harmony, and well-being you’ve been craving. It will also lay the groundwork for you to access your true authority, clarity, and power . . . and this will really change your life for the better!
Yoga, dance, therapy, coaching, meditation, creativity, bodywork, journaling, self-reflection, reading, women’s circles, breath work, cleansing your body . . .
There are so many things you can do to support yourself in this process. But one of the simplest and most powerful is to intentionally practice cultivating your relationship with self-love in your daily meditations. Try it out!
A SELF-LOVE MEDITATION
Nearly every spiritual person I’ve ever met has done some form of this meditation because it’s so simple and effective in grounding, raising your energy, and cultivating self-love. Here’s a basic form of it. You could slowly read and record it into your phone and play it for yourself when you want to do a meditation. Really quickly you’ll have the steps down and can do it at any time.
Sit down and get settled.
Breath in such a way you feel your whole body rising and falling.
Relax the muscles in your jaw, face, neck, belly, etc.
Breath into your legs, feet, and sit bones.
Exhale a cord of connection from your sacrum down into the Earth.
Visualize your cord like the roots of a tree going wider and deeper.
Inhale the Earth’s grounding, unconditionally loving energy up your cord into your body.
Exhale your energy down into the Earth.
Breath back and forth like this strengthening your connec-tion with the Earth.
Consciously generate your frequency of love.
Imagine what you feel for a person you love deeply to help you if needed.
Send this love to yourself, filling your whole body with it, saying: I love me.
Extend your loving energy from your heart and fill your aura with it, about two feet from your body in each direction.
See/feel the edges of your aura becoming defined, clarifying your energy boundary.
Continue to generate the feeling of love within and around you.
Let it go when you’re ready to be done.
If you’d like to take it a step further, you can open your eyes and gaze at yourself in a mirror when you’re deeply connected to your feeling of self love. And if you want to cultivate greater love, appreciation, and acceptance for your body, you can also do this next step looking at your full body in the mirror, clothed or not.
Walking the path of self-love: What is a step you can take today to lighten your load? What belief, story, rule, or role do you feel restricted by that you can let go of and practice replacing with something that truly works for who you’re becoming? Can you dedicate 15 minutes to cultivating your self-love today? What about 15 minutes every day for a week, or a month?
Let us know how it goes for you in the comments below!
Photo by Robin Clark