Lessons from the front lines

Over the last month, I’ve been promoting an online business course that I’m cray-cray about.
If you know me, or you’ve been around here for awhile, at some point in time, you’ve likely heard me wax poetic about my love of Marie Forleo and her RHH B-School program.
I call it, the BMW of online biz training programs.
And it’s that (and so much more).

I love promoting the work, the art, the projects of those I believe in.
Like, I mean I REALLY love it.
I get high off of spreading the love and sharing good stuff with others.

I don’t do it because it makes me look good.
I don’t do it because I get a kickback (even though I sometimes do).
It’s not about the money, the fame, the glory.
It’s about the pure feeling of giving.

Like I said, addictive.

So it came to a HUGE surprise to me, when registration for B-School ended on Monday afternoon, that I felt deflated. Like a big ass helium balloon.

My best partner in crime and I had been promoting B-School to our communities.
We believe in it. It changed our lives.
But when it came down to it, nobody signed up for the program (and the free bonuses we were offering).

I felt kinda low.
I felt like a loser.
I felt not popular.
I felt like a failure.

And then I started to beat myself up.

If I love giving so much, then why in the world was I feeling so low anyway?
Was I really just a money-hungry, affiliate marketing, soulless peddler of self-help smut?
Am I not walking my walk? Talking my talk?
Maybe I AM a loser.


After a little texting with my partner in crime, chatting with my man and doing a bit of self-reflection, I realized what was up.

I was comparing myself.

To all the other “successful” B-School grads who were also promoting the program.
To the ladies with email lists that rival Barack Obama’s.
To the people who had helped 20, 30, 40+ excited souls signup for B-School.
I was comparison shopping myself.

You want to know the quickest way to feel like a total, utter failure in your life?

There’s a really simple 5-Step formula.
1. Pick someone you admire.
2. Look at all that they’ve accomplished (professional or personally) – only the shiny pretty parts of course
4. Compare to yourself – focusing only on what you’re lacking.
5. Repeat

Not my finest moment.

Instead of wallowing in what I perceived I was lacking, I decided to turn to a trusted friend.
Twitter (you may have met).

I spent about an hour online, scheduling tweets of love, respect, admiration and support to the people in my world that I admire and adore.
I raved.
I lavished compliments.
I expressed gratitude.
I poured out love.
On as many people as I could think of.

And almost instantly, my feelings of lack, of being “less than” were gone.
Magic wand.
Just like that.

What’s your magic wand? Are you a comparison shopper? How do you lift yourself out of those places of feeling less than everyone else?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.





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  1. Hey Stephanie,
    when I saw your video, I thought you were launching your own program. Don’t get me wrong, Marie Forleo is a badass social media entrepreneur but I think you have everything to succeed.I can’t wait to see you launching your online product like your mentor 🙂


    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Bika – and yes, I will definitely be launching something – a number of things in fact! Thanks for the vote of confidence! 🙂

  2. I appreciate this post. I see inherent value in trying to determine why someone bought through someone else’s affiliate link, if it is not tied to self deprecation. I am about to step into Internet marketing land once again and I know I will face the same fears and questions. I hope I analyze and track (results) rather than judge and criticize (myself). But I know I will have to face some internal demons. I love your honesty.

    I would love to hear what you learned from this for next time (bc I will be in your position and would love to hear your lessons learned).

    1. Thanks for the comment & I agree Allison – definitely good to know how others are marketing, there’s always something to learn + room to grow. 🙂
      I’m sure there will be a follow-up post about this once I process everything. Lots of good nuggets of wisdom so far. Lots of love to you girl!

  3. I keep myself from that low…with my own magic…Serving Others. It’s simple and it works for me!
    It really pulls me out of low places Where I don’t want to spend time.

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